From 6297bc0271b2d98a10eccb25820e4577c04af180 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: matthew-fitzgerald123 Date: Tue, 22 Oct 2024 14:14:50 -0400 Subject: [PATCH] Added 50 unique dad jokes --- jokes/index.json | 249 ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++- 1 file changed, 247 insertions(+), 2 deletions(-) diff --git a/jokes/index.json b/jokes/index.json index 8d7aa77..f0293cd 100644 --- a/jokes/index.json +++ b/jokes/index.json @@ -1885,7 +1885,7 @@ "punchline": "Because seven ate nine." }, { - "type": "dad", + "type": "general", "setup": "Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?", "punchline": "In case they get a hole in one!" }, @@ -1915,7 +1915,7 @@ "punchline": "USB." }, { - "type": "dad", + "type": "general", "setup": "Why don't eggs tell jokes?", "punchline": "Because they would crack each other up." }, @@ -2253,5 +2253,250 @@ "type": "general", "setup": "What do you call a thieving alligator?", "punchline": "A crookodile!" + }, + { + "type": "general", + "setup": "Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?", + "punchline": "In case he got a hole in one!" + }, + { + "type": "general", + "setup": "What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?", + "punchline": "A carrot!" + }, + { + "type": "general", + "setup": "Why don’t skeletons fight each other?", + "punchline": "They don’t have the guts." + }, + { + "type": "general", + "setup": "What’s brown and sticky?", + "punchline": "A stick." + }, + { + "type": "general", + "setup": "What do you call a factory that makes OK products?", + "punchline": "A satisfactory." + }, + { + "type": "general", + "setup": "Why don’t eggs tell jokes?", + "punchline": "They’d crack each other up." + }, + { + "type": "general", + "setup": "What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?", + "punchline": "Supplies!" + }, + { + "type": "general", + "setup": "What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?", + "punchline": "Frostbite." + }, + { + "type": "general", + "setup": "What did the ocean say to the beach?", + "punchline": "Nothing, it just waved." + }, + { + "type": "general", + "setup": "Why don’t some fish play piano?", + "punchline": "They can’t find their tuna." + }, + { + "type": "general", + "setup": "How does a penguin build its house?", + "punchline": "Igloos it together." + }, + { + "type": "general", + "setup": "What do you call fake spaghetti?", + "punchline": "An impasta." + }, + { + "type": "general", + "setup": "Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?", + "punchline": "Because they lactose." + }, + { + "type": "general", + "setup": "Why did the math book look sad?", + "punchline": "It had too many problems." + }, + { + "type": "general", + "setup": "How does the moon cut his hair?", + "punchline": "Eclipse it." + }, + { + "type": "general", + "setup": "What do you call a fish wearing a crown?", + "punchline": "A kingfish." + }, + { + "type": "general", + "setup": "Why are spiders so smart?", + "punchline": "They find everything on the web." + }, + { + "type": "general", + "setup": "Why did the scarecrow win an award?", + "punchline": "Because he was outstanding in his field." + }, + { + "type": "general", + "setup": "What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?", + "punchline": "Sneakers." + }, + { + "type": "general", + "setup": "Why did the bicycle fall over?", + "punchline": "It was two tired." + }, + { + "type": "general", + "setup": "What do you call a bear with no teeth?", + "punchline": "A gummy bear." + }, + { + "type": "general", + "setup": "Why did the tomato turn red?", + "punchline": "Because it saw the salad dressing!" + }, + { + "type": "general", + "setup": "What do you call a lazy kangaroo?", + "punchline": "A pouch potato." + }, + { + "type": "general", + "setup": "What kind of tea is hard to swallow?", + "punchline": "Reality." + }, + { + "type": "general", + "setup": "What did one wall say to the other?", + "punchline": "I’ll meet you at the corner." + }, + { + "type": "general", + "setup": "How do cows stay up to date?", + "punchline": "They read the moos-paper." + }, + { + "type": "general", + "setup": "What do you call a group of musical whales?", + "punchline": "An orca-stra." + }, + { + "type": "general", + "setup": "Why did the mushroom go to the party alone?", + "punchline": "Because he was a fungi." + }, + { + "type": "general", + "setup": "What’s the difference between a well-dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bike?", + "punchline": "Attire." + }, + { + "type": "general", + "setup": "Why was the broom late?", + "punchline": "It swept in late." + }, + { + "type": "general", + "setup": "Why did the coffee file a police report?", + "punchline": "It got mugged." + }, + { + "type": "general", + "setup": "What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?", + "punchline": "A chili dog on a bun." + }, + { + "type": "general", + "setup": "What did the buffalo say when his son left?", + "punchline": "Bison." + }, + { + "type": "general", + "setup": "How does a cucumber become a pickle?", + "punchline": "It goes through a jarring experience." + }, + { + "type": "general", + "setup": "What’s green and sings?", + "punchline": "Elvis Parsley." + }, + { + "type": "general", + "setup": "Why was the computer cold?", + "punchline": "It left its Windows open." + }, + { + "type": "general", + "setup": "Why did the tree go to the dentist?", + "punchline": "It needed a root canal." + }, + { + "type": "general", + "setup": "What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?", + "punchline": "Nacho cheese." + }, + { + "type": "general", + "setup": "Why did the barber win the race?", + "punchline": "He took a short cut." + }, + { + "type": "general", + "setup": "What did the grape do when it got stepped on?", + "punchline": "It let out a little wine." + }, + { + "type": "general", + "setup": "What did the big flower say to the little flower?", + "punchline": "Hi, bud!" + }, + { + "type": "general", + "setup": "Why do seagulls fly over the sea?", + "punchline": "Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels." + }, + { + "type": "general", + "setup": "Why did the hipster burn his mouth?", + "punchline": "He ate the pizza before it was cool." + }, + { + "type": "general", + "setup": "How do you catch a squirrel?", + "punchline": "Climb a tree and act like a nut." + }, + { + "type": "general", + "setup": "What did the snowman order at the diner?", + "punchline": "An iceburger." + }, + { + "type": "general", + "setup": "Why was the calendar afraid?", + "punchline": "Its days were numbered." + }, + { + "type": "general", + "setup": "What do you call an alligator in a vest?", + "punchline": "An investigator." + }, + { + "type": "general", + "setup": "What happens when a snowman throws a tantrum?", + "punchline": "He has a meltdown." + }, + { + "type": "general", + "setup": "Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?", + "punchline": "Because she’ll let it go." } ]